For Love or Honor
by kgmohror
Summary: Kid called a man out for the first time when Willow Creek lawman Lambert assaulted the Kid's true love. How will Lou respond to Kid's violent act?
_I've always been puzzled by Lou's reaction – or rather, lack of one – to Kid charging off to kill Lambert at the end of "Blood Money." After their emotional reunion (that hug!), Lou just kind of watches passively when Kid calls the bad man out. And after Lambert has been killed, and Kid goes to Lou, her reaction is standoffish to say the least. Here's my explanation for why she acted the way she did._

It was near midnight when four cowboys and one cowgirl rode onto the ranch they'd called home for almost a year. Despite the late hour, there were lights on in the ranch house and Rachel was waiting on the front porch with a kerosene lantern. As the riders pulled up to the house, Lou could make out the stocky figure of Teaspoon in the doorway behind the station's cook and caretaker.

"What the Sam Hill have you boys got up to?" Teaspoon demanded as the group began to dismount.

"We just took care of Willow Creek's law enforcement problem," Jimmy responded in his blithe way.

Lou swung her leg over her saddle, but before she could slip off Lightning's back, strong arms circled her waist and she found herself being lowered gently to the ground. She felt a stab of irritation as Kid's strong left arm now moved to drape around her shoulders protectively.

"I think y'all had better come in and explain what Jimmy meant by that," Teaspoon said gruffly.

"I'll put a pot of coffee on the stove," Rachel said. Before she could turn away, Kid spoke up. "Rachel, could you tend to Lou? She's been hurt."

"I'm fine, Kid," Lou muttered through gritted teeth.

Rachel raised her lantern to get a closer look and gasped at the welts and bruises marring Lou's delicate features. "Come on with me," she said. "I've got some linament that'll help."

"That kin wait. Teaspoon wants to talk to us," Lou protested, shrugging Kid's arm off her shoulders.

"The rest of us boys can handle that," Kid said. "You just let Rachel take care of you." He glanced around quickly to make sure Teaspoon and the rest had disappeared into the parlor, then bent to drop a quick kiss on Lou's lips. The young woman felt herself frowning as he headed off to join the others, and when she turned to Rachel, the knowing smile on the older woman's face made Lou's cheeks color up.

"Ain't nothin' but a few bruises," Lou groused as she followed Rachel to the kitchen.

Soon she was seated on a high stool next to the table, scowling while Rachel dabbed at her bruises with a wet cloth. Lou winced when the cloth rubbed over a particularly sensitive spot under her eye.

"How did you get yourself roughed up like this?" Rachel asked as she worked.

Lou sighed. "Savin' Kid's skin. But gettin' a fist to the jaw in the process wasn't part of the plan."

"For a lady who took a beating for the man, you sure don't seem all that happy with Kid at the moment," Rachel observed.

"It's that obvious?"

"I swear the temperature in the hall dropped 10 degrees when the two of you walked in."

Lou looked a little guilty at that. "I know Kid means well, but …"

"But?"

"Well, it jest seems he does a lot of fussin' over things that he ain't got no call to."

"Such as?"

Lou crossed her arms over her chest. "When we got to Willow Creek, the boys started nosin' around, trying to get some information on that crooked marshal, Lambert. Now I know that the loosest lips are them that's spent some time around the neck of a bottle, so I got a job as a barmaid at the saloon."

"And Kid didn't approve."

Lou huffed indignantly. "He practically accused me of lookin' like a whore!"

Rachel looked surprised. "Naw, he didn't say that!"

The younger woman nodded vehemently. "Not in so many words, but he said no lady would dress the way I was, and then he had the gall to tell me he wouldn't allow me to keep workin' there."

Rachel fought to stifle a smile at the girl's outrage. "I bet that went over well. What did you do?"

"I informed him I didn't need his permission for nothin'."

"Good for you!" Rachel nodded in approval. "But you know Kid was only concerned for your safety. Places like that can be dangerous for a woman. Not all cowboys are as respectful as your young man."

Lou kicked the leg of her stool. "I know. It's just …" she trailed off, feeling her face grow hot.

"What is it, honey?"

Lou avoided Rachel's gaze. "It's stupid," she admitted. "When Kid reacted to me like that, I felt …"

"Yes?" Rachel prodded gently.

"I thought he'd like the way I looked. That he'd think I was pretty, like the other men in the saloon and even Jimmy."

Rachel raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing.

"I don't know how to be a lady – a proper one, like Kid wants," Lou continued miserably.

"Louise McCloud, anybody who sees how that boy looks at you can tell you are exactly the kind of lady he wants." Rachel reached to tuck a lock of hair behind Lou's ear. "Seein' you like that … well, I reckon it took Kid by surprise, that's all. I don't know exactly what you were wearing, but I'm familiar with the kind of things saloon girls usually wear, and I'm pretty certain it's not the kind of thing you'd choose for yourself under normal circumstances – am I right?"

Lou nodded and smiled a little sheepishly. "I reckon it was a might draftier than was strictly comfortable. But I thought men liked them kinda things."

"Some men do. But not the kind of man Kid is. Maybe he is a little strait-laced. But the girl – the lady – that he fell for is the one who looks just as pretty in a shirt and pants as a calico dress. He cares for you for who you are, Lou, not who you think he wants you to be."

"I hope you're right." Lou looked down at the floor.

"That's not all that's frettin' you, is it?"

Lou shook her head.

"What else happened in Willow Creek, Louise?"

The girl blinked rapidly, trying to hold back her tears. "Kid killed a man, Rachel. In cold blood." At Rachel's wide eyes, she added, "Technically it was self defense, but Kid knew what was gonna happen when he rode back into Willow Creek and called Lambert out."

"Kid called someone out? I've never heard of him doing anything like that before."

"He hasn't. Ordinarily, Kid will turn himself inside out to avoid having to draw on anybody. But he had one purpose in goin' back to that town. He wanted Lambert dead. And he made that happen."

"I don't understand."

"It was 'cause of me, Rachel! When he saw what Lambert done to me, Kid's eyes went hard like I've never seen before. I knew what he was gonna do, and there wasn't anything gonna stop him."

"That must have scared you."

"Sure I was scared. And-and … well, I was almost madder than I was scared."

"You were angry at Kid?"

"Furious. Still am. Me and the boys did all that to pull his bacon outta the fire, and he repays us by jumpin' right back in."

"Well, what was your reason for putting yourself in harm's way for Kid, Lou?" Rachel prodded gently.

"They was gonna kill him! I couldn't let that happen."

"Why not?"

Lou looked at Rachel like she'd lost her mind. "'Cause I love him!" she exclaimed in exasperation, then realized what she'd said. "I love The Kid," she repeated softly.

"I know you do, honey." Rachel stroked Lou's hair softly. "That's why you did what you did, even though you knew it was dangerous. And that's why Kid did what he did."

At that, Lou's head snapped up and she looked at Rachel with fire in her eyes. "But it ain't the same at all, Rachel! Me and the rest of the boys put ourselves on the line for Kid because it was the only thing we could do to get him back safe. But Kid had a choice. He coulda let the courts deal with Lambert. I don't doubt Lambert deserved to pay for his crimes. But it warn't Kid's job to do it. And now I've got a man's blood partly on my hands because Kid had to go defendin' my honor."

"You don't want him to do that?"

"I don't know … maybe. Sometimes it feels nice to know he wants to protect me. But killin' Lambert? That ain't Kid's way, and it scares me to think he'd go so far against his beliefs on my account. And the truth is, he wasn't really even defending my honor, Rachel. It was defending _his_ honor – or more rightly, his pride. He needs to get it through his head I ain't Katy!"

"Huh? What does Kid's horse have to do with this?" Rachel was genuinely confused.

"D'ya know what Kid did with that $100 bounty he got for turnin' Dyson in?"

Rachel shook her head.

"Bought a saddle." Lou felt a flush of embarrassment, remembering how she'd believed Kid was going to use the money to buy something special for her … maybe a ring. She'd been humiliated when Kid had revealed his prize. But now she was grateful for the insight she'd gotten into how Kid viewed the things he loved.

"He said he bought it for Katy," Lou continued. "But Katy don't care what kind of saddle she's got cinched to her. Kid might truly believe he bought it for that horse, but he really bought it for himself. He wants his horse to have an expensive saddle, because a fine-looking horse reflects well on the man who rides her."

"And what does that have to do with what happened in Willow Creek?"

"It upset Kid to see me hurt; I know that," Lou began carefully. "In a crisis, there's nobody else I'd want beside me or watchin' out for me. I reckon he'd put himself in the line of fire to protect me. And I'd do the same for him."

She smiled softly, thinking of his protective nature, then sobered again. "But Kid callin' Lambert out wouldn't do anything to change what he'd already done to me. It was purely for revenge, and as much about punishin' Lambert for having raised a hand to _his_ woman as it was for my benefit. Just like tellin' me I couldn't go undercover in that saloon because I might get hurt, or dress the way I did because it didn't make me look like a lady. I'm afraid Kid considers me like he does Katy: something that belongs to him, something dear to him, yes, but that he's staked his claim on and is entitled to decide what I do and who I am. But I cain't be reined in and penned up like a horse, Rachel. I just won't!"

"Now, Lou," Rachel chided, "You don't really think Kid considers you his property. And you're certainly not the same as Katy to him."

Lou made a wry face. "Naw. I mean, not exactly. I'm sure Kid doesn't think he treats me that way. I reckon he believes he's honorin' me by takin' up for me. But whether it's intentional or not, sometimes The Kid makes me feel like I don't measure up, like I'm a disappointment to him. And so I find myself tryin' to guess what I should be doin' differently and then resentin' that I feel that way."

"Have you talked to Kid about this?"

Lou shook her head. "How can I, Rachel? He'd just deny it, and …" She shrugged miserably. "I-I'm afraid of losing him. I really do love the big calf. More'n anything. And every gal in Sweetwater's got her cap set for him. What if I were to tell him how I feel and he decides I'm not worth the trouble to get along with?"

Rachel chuckled at this, earning her a sharp look from Lou. "It ain't funny, Rachel!"

"It sure is, if you really think Kid has eyes for any other girl but you."

"What if love ain't enough?"

Rachel gave a soft sigh. "My sweet Louise, nobody knows that until they've been through the fire. But the way you two feel about each other can only help you weather whatever might come along to try to tear you apart."

"So what do I do?" Lou's voice was plaintive, almost childlike.

"Maybe it's time to stop dancin' around how you feel about each other. You've both been holdin' back, worried about gettin' hurt. But sometimes a little hurt is what's need to find out how strong you really are for each other."

"I s'pose you're right." Lou looked doubtful nonetheless.

At that moment Kid appeared in the doorway. "How's my girl?" he whispered, smiling.

Rachel started to respond, but Lou's hand on her arm silenced her. "I'm just fine, Kid," she said, returning his smile. "But you look like you've been rode hard and put up wet."

Her beau shrugged and laughed. "I guess the accommodations in Willow Creek weren't up to my standard. I'll be glad to crawl into my own bunk tonight."

"Me, too," Lou said, getting off the stool. "I thank ya kindly for patchin' me up, Rachel. And I'll think on what you said."

"Said about what?" Rachel heard Kid ask as they walked away.

"Jest girl talk," Lou answered. "Nothin' to do with you."

Rachel frowned as their voices faded into the distance, and her sleep that night was troubled. Despite her encouragement to Lou, she saw rough waters ahead for the young lovers. She only hoped they'd get through them.


End file.
